Instructions for getting a 2 1/2 year old to nap

Here is Jason's procedure for taking a nap:
1. Allow Mommy to serve me a nutritious lunch and a small dessert
2. Eat the dessert
3. Spend about 20 minutes artistically rearranging my nutritious lunch on my place, then shove most of it into my mouth in about 5 minutes because Mommy says I can't get down until I'm done.
4. Pick out two stories to read.
5. Change my mind; pick out different stories to read.
6. Get upset when Mommy gets to the last page of the book because I really didn't want that story, I wanted a different one.
7. Lay on my bed with the blanket over my legs. Stick my legs straight up into the air.
8. Hold a sippy cup of water in my mouth with one hand, while stroking Mommy's face with the other hand.
9. Allow Mommy to lay down next on the floor next to me.
10. Wait til Mommy falls asleep, then sing a little song about the DVD I've watched most recently and keep time by banging my feet against the wall.
11. When Mommy wakes up, listen closely as she explains that I can get off my bed and play with toys if I don't take clothes out of the drawer or unpack Mommy's boxes.
12. Take all my toys out and think about which ones I want to play with.
13. Take clothes out of the drawers instead.
14. Consider rearranging furniture like I did last naptime. Climb on top of the dresser to get a better perspective.
15. Flip the light on and off a few (dozen) times.
16. Take more clothes out of the drawers.
17. Fall asleep on top of the dresser.




*Do not try this at home - but if it happens accidentally, take lots of pictures.

Poetry

Last December, my lovely sister Jessica challenged me to join her in doing something new for 30 days. She got the idea from a TEDtalk, found here. I decided my goal would be to write for fun, 10 minutes a night. This was to be different from routine email or journal writing.
I can't say I reached my goal of writing for 30 days straight, but it was still a great experience. I ended up with a lot of half-finished stories and memories (that hopefully I'll finish someday) and I actually started a couple of poems too. Here's one that's pretty much done, finally.
Thanks Jess for giving me the motivation to try this!

Zoo Picnic, by Jennifer Neal (that's me!)
The animal picnic each year at the zoo
Is delicious, nutritious and good for you too.
Each animal brings something tasty to munch.
Let's join them and see what we're having for lunch.
The apes brought some grapes (and bananas of course)
The parrots brought carrots and so did the horse.
The bears have some pears and a honeycomb pie,
The yak has a snack of bologna on rye.
The turkey brought jerky, the gnu made a stew,
The eagles brought bagels, the pandas - bamboo.
The peanuts and tree nuts were brought by the squirrels
The otters brought oysters (but kept all the pearls).
The reindeer and plain deer brought soda and ice.
The spider made cider with help from the mice.
To top it all off the good zookeeper Burt
Brought animal cookies to serve for dessert.
So balance your plate on a paw or a fin
Every beast at the feast open wide and begin!

E-Junkmail

Have you ever wondered what type of person writes spam emails? I think it would be kind of fun to write one, trying to use as many ungrammatical phrases and emotional pleas as are contained in most of the emails in my junk box. Here are a few favorite subject lines I found one day, as I prepared to empty my junk folder:

Regards.. (I just love this word – it’s so proper, and doesn’t really mean anything)

WHAT IS TO BE DONE: (According to the email, the answer to this question is to provide personal info to a gentleman in Hong Kong so he can send me 35 million dollars.)

The world wants to talk to you (Uh, hello world?)

Hide spy cameras to catch the culprit (Yes! I can finally find out who keeps throwing away the peanut butter jar before I can use a spatula to get the last few licks)

Got goals? Get grants to go back to school. Make your dreams come (For some reason this last phrase made me think of someone calling a dog. “Here dream! Come ‘ere boy!”)

And my personal favorite:

Re:BE CAREFUL OF THE HUDLOOMS///ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE? (Hold on a minute, let me think….yes, I’m definitely dead. I guess the hudlooms got me.)

happiest baby on the block

I just watched a movie called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". There's a book by the same name, but I didn't want to take the time to read the book. I was hoping it would have advice to help with Cory's naps, but it was geared towards younger kids. According to the author, Dr. Harvey Karp, babies are age 0-8 months and toddlers are 8 months-5 years. So I have two toddlers!
But I was interested in Dr. Karp's methods for calming babies, so I'll record them here for future reference. Key ideas include:
The fourth trimester - first three months of a baby's life. Their brain is still so immature they behave more like a fetus than a baby, so they need to be treated more like a fetus, especially when calming them. It's OK to recreate elements of the womb - they won't be spoiled.
Calming strategies include the 5 "S's": swaddle (snuggly), shush (as loudly as they are crying. White noise or radio static work), side (put them on their side or stomach, if you get the right angle they automatically calm down), swinging (more like a fast jiggling, especially their head), sucking (if pacifier, don't use until nursing is fully established. When they're sucking, bump it with your finger so they think it's falling out. They'll suck harder and learn faster)
The movie was only 38 minutes, definitely worth watching for me. It didn't teach me much about sleep, but there were a few tips and I really liked the 5 S's.

Menu for a 10 month old boy

I can't remember what Jason was eating at this age. Cory has a lot of teeth and he has never been very enthused about baby food, so it's possible he's eating whole foods a lot earlier than Jason was.
Breakfast:
Yogurt and rice cereal
cheerios or baby cereal puffs
Water
Lunch and Dinner: a combination of some the following -
Fruit - canned pears/peaches (in fruit juice, not sugar water), diced
banana, diced
applesauce
baby food fruit
Veggies - cooked carrots, diced
cooked sweet potato, diced
baby food veggies
protein - baby meat sticks, diced
cheese, small cubes
baby food meat or meals
grain - ritz crackers
cheerios
rice
bread, broken in tiny pieces
bottle of water
Sometimes we'll give him other stuff, like little bits of whatever we're eating, but that's usually what he eats. I also nurse him about 4 times a day - waking up, before morning nap, before afternoon nap, before bed - and he snacks on cheerios or crackers during car trips and stuff.

Childraising info.

I feel like I forget things pretty easily, including parenting skills that I've learned. When Cory was born, I was surprised to find out that I couldn't remember a lot of the things that worked for me two years before, when Jason was a baby. I know there were "Aha!" moments with Jason, when I figured out how to feed, clothe, or entertain him more efficiently and effectively - but for the most part, I couldn't remember them. That's not to say that being a mom wasn't easier the second time round (it was) or that I would expect everything that worked with Jason to work with Cory (it wouldn't).
However, to avoid reinventing the wheel when child #3 comes along (if we're lucky enough to have him/her someday) and to provide a better standard of comparison, I've decided to write down some of the things I'm learning along the way. Hopefully they will provide enlightenment or at least entertainment when I have another child at the right age for the information to apply to them.

Regarding the name of my blog

You may ask, "What do shoes and ships and sealing wax have to do with anything?" I'll tell you: Absolutely nothing! It's a pretty random title, because this is a pretty random blog. I plan on writing about whatever I'm thinking about, whether it's my struggles as a parent, fun vacations I've taken, or even a particularly good slice of pizza I ate - when I was five. So if you find any general theme to my ramblings, know that I probably didn't put it there.
And, for all you fellow "Alice in Wonderland" fans, here's a part of the wonderfully random poem I borrowed the phrase from (The Walrus and the Carpenter, by Lewis Carroll):

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."